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Sunday, June 17, 2012

Mizz J's Diary Entry 2 (Father's Day/Dear Dad)

So as Father's Day comes to an end I thought i would write a diary entry/letter to my father. You see my dad was never really around like that as i was growing up and i didn't even speak to him today, just to give you all an idea of the type of relationship we have. So here is some things i needed to get off my chest and if you choose to comment please keep any negativity to yourself because this is a very touchy subject for me. Thanks everyone and Happy Father's Day to all the real fathers out there whether your raising your biological kids or not you are a father and today I honor you.

Dear Dad,

I know it's been a while since we spoke and a lot has been going on in my life that you wouldn't know anything about not because i wouldn't be willing to share but because your love for me or lack of dedication in my life won't allow you to pick up the phone and say something as simple as "Hey what's up, what's new, how's life?" Ever since i was 2 and you and mommy broke up I can't recall even a straight month that you have been involved in my life and to make a bad situation even worst you didn't even care to show up for me at my mom's funeral. To not be able to be there for me on one of the worst days of my life is probably the most selfish thing a father, a man, a human being could ever do and never ONCE did you ever apologize. It was like it just didn't happen and every day since that day i have been so angry with you, wondering what was wrong with me that you couldn't love me and why i wasn't worth a few hours of your time.

I could go on and on about all the things you have done wrong but you know what even though you act like you don't already recognize your wrongs I KNOW YOU DO. All i hope is that one day God will heal me of this pain and bless me with the spirit of forgiveness and i know that when the time is right i will meet a man who will love me unconditionally and who will marry me and treat my children with love and respect and one day when my kids ask me what kind of man there grandfather was i will say that you were a very troubled man who didn't appreciate the people who loved him but with all that said you were a blessing because if it weren't for you their mother wouldn't have had a blue print of exactly what kind of parent i never want to be. I hope and i pray that one day for your sack that you will change and that it doesn't take you to be in your death bed to do so.

                                                                                                                 - Your daughter, Krystal

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